Squid up? No! Squid Neutral! Alright, Pulled in to my driveway with my ghetto Corolla. I’ll go drive-by shooting every Wednesday. and I see this Golden Retriever just… chillin on my front lawn. No leash. No owner. My initial reaction was like: I want to pet it. So I get out of the car, and start approaching it. Half way there and then the dog gives me a little… woof I stop in my tracks, because my mind was giving me a little feeling that this dog could potentially be dangerous. It stands up and gets into a position a position, that looked like it wanted a taste of my half asian booty! Now this dog was a thicc boi, thicc and tall enough to be afraid of what might to come…y’know what I’m sayin. and we both get into a standstill Staring each other down. Like a cowboy standoff. I felt like if I made a move, it would start to rush at me. (so I started backing off slowly towards the car..) *RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH* The dog starts running at full speed on all fours like some kind of…. doggo beast or something! Of course, I start fearing for my life Running towards my own safety my ghetto Corolla I manage to get in, gasping for air in my front seat, it starts pacing back and
forth looking pretty malice And after a couple of minutes.. it finally goes away and
my life is spared! you thought I was done? nah man. nah. two weeks later,
my parents are gone, and they call me to water the plants. now being the best son ever
I sacrificed my important gaming time to actually go outside for once in my life
and started watering the plants. time passes by as I probably I was like you
know just butchering a panic at the disco song or something, then.. *RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH* Holy squid! looks like it’s about that time! Time to run! dropped to everything I’m doing,
ran. Fearing, and out of breath I survived, the second onslaught. yes! Huhuhu, you think it’s done? its not done.. Another two weeks.. night time. Someone mentioned I should do some magic card paint mods, for money and
I’m all like: hmm now where did I store my paints that I used for college? After looking all over the house.. I figured it might be my garage. so I
went to take a look. Pitch black. total darkness. rummaging
through and I thought I heard a chain rattle, I was like eh, must be the wind or
something. Nope! I was wrong RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH Instantly closed the door.
what is this jump-scare?! Dog is litterally chillin’ in my open garage in the middle
of the night pitch black what are you doing? What do you want from me? dog? Who’s a good boy? who’s a good boy?~
Yes you are! Yes you are! W- What? Well I guess a lil’ pat won’t hurt.. *RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH* alright squid neutral!
I mean, dog neutral, ha! I know what you might be thinking. you might be
thinking: Daidus, why are you so afraid of that dog? B R U H that dog was huge. and it
was running at full speed. for all I know it could have some Old Yeller syndrome
and give me rabies okay? I’m just making excuses now, but come on dogs at full
speed are scary alright? alright? I told my mom about the dog, and she said I
should call the animal control because you know it’s against the law to have
dogs without a leash. but thought it was like you know I just let it go. I’m like
really outside anyway so you know so I just let it be, too much of a hassle man. it’s not like it
actually hurt me because you know I have sick survival skills on fleek. am I right
or what am I right? but I swear to the squid gods, someone already called for animal control. because I don’t see it around anymore. it’s
a big neighborhood and his dog was like Dora the Explorer. I don’t know where it
came from, or why it comes to my house but this doggo, is a thing of the past
and im ju- go away jus- go away never come back alright? did this scar me for life?
nah. I still like dogs but random dogs without leashes man oh I don’t know, i don’t know, give me a
little warning sign you know? if you got any dog attack stories let me know and
I’ll see you later! you barnacle scum.