Cindy: Hey there cutie! Cindy: I’m Cindy! Wanna be my boyfriend? Jack: Uhh… Jack: I don’t know, Cindy! Jack: I can’t really see if you’ve got the crazy eyes or not. Jack: and I don’t know if you have any baggage with ya. You have baggage? Do you have like? You have baggage? Do you have, like, a bad relationship with your dad or your mom? Bad relationship with your dad, or your mom? Long Lost Brother? Alcohol Addiction? Jack: …sure, why not? heh Cindy: That’s what I like to hear! Cindy: We’ll totally be the cutest couple in school! Cindy: But first! Cindy: You have to do something for me! Jack: Always the case! You know, Jack: You tell a girl you’ll be her boyfriend, Jack: And IMMEDIATELY She asks you do to something for her. Jack: Come on, Cindy! Jack:What if I want you to do something for me? Jack: This relationship has to be a 2-way thing! Jack: Come on Isn’t our love enough? Cindy: HAHAHAHA! Cindy: That’s ~precious~ Cindy: But NO! It isn’t. Cindy: You’re gonna have to PROVE it to me! Jack: How do I do that? Cindy: You see that girl over there? Cindy: That’s Lily! Cindy: She is by far Cindy: The ugliest, NASTIEST girl you will ever meet! Cindy: -loud whisper- I want you to take this gum Cindy: and stick it in her hair during morning time. Jack: NO! Jack: Fuck you, Cindy! Jack: No way! Cindy: Fine! But don’t come crying to me when you die old and alone! Jack: I’m like- Jack: I’m like 3 or 4 years old in this game. Jack: Jesus Christ…. *school bell* Teacher: Good morning children! Teacher: It’s time to pick your buddies! Teacher: for morning time or you’ll be sad, pathetic, and alone! Teacher: As long as you’re the best you can be! Jack: Is this really the education system that’s going on? Jack: IS THAT A FUCKIN’ SWORD?!?! Teacher: Go find a partner! Jack: Okay…. Jack: Whaat if I want the Jack: SWORD to be my partner! Teacher: Don’t go snooping around in other people’s cubbies! -gasps of realization- Jack: That’s their cubbies! Jack: What’s in my cubby? Jack: There’s fuckin’ nothin’ in my cubby.. Jack: mmkay. Jack: Let’s see if I can actually do this gum-hair-thing. Jack: Aww no!!! Lily: That’s so mean! Lily: Cindy put you up to this, didn’t she? Lily: I don’t even care leave me alone! Ahh, I feel HORRIBLE now! Jack: I did what you asked you fuckin’ heartless MONSTER! Cindy: Oh my gosh!! You totally did. Wow! What happened? Cindy: What did she say? Did she cry? I bet she cried. She cried… Yes! I’m so happy! Now you can be my morning buddy which also makes you my boyfriend! As my boyfriend you get the honor of playing house with me. I’ll meet you over at the dollhouse. Do I really want to? Lily had it ALL! Lily had a little flower in her hair and everything! She had cute little bangs! She lost her brother! You turned me into a MONSTER, Cindy! All I wanted to do is be fuckin’ happy… Okay Welcome home husband! I hope work wasn’t too hard ’cause you’re gonna be making dinner tonight. Me starts to thinks that Cindy is a bit high maintenance! Also, possibly, slight hint of BITCH! But she’s a child so I can’t really say that… Why do I have to make dinner? Because I’ve been so busy maintaining the house and I- -sniff sniff- Have you been DRINKING AGAIN??! WHAT IS THIS GAME!??! No honey, i’m just tired. That’s the smell of TIRED on me. Oh SUUURE you are, you’re always SOOO tired. I’m sure you won’t mind blowing into THIS then! Is that a breathalyzer? *nervous giggle* You BET it is! and if you blow as much as 0.01 I’m calling your sponsor! HEY! I’m Irish! There’s always a slight trace of alcohol in blood system! I’ll take the test Good! Blow! 0.32?!?!?! You’re trashed right now! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!??!! You said you would get sober! How can you be a father when you can’t even take care of yourself? Now I have KIDS??! What is this? I well.. While you were in prison it’s probably not yours- I’m sorry, I have my own set of problems to deal with. I woke up today! A bouncing baby boy! Ready to start my kindergarten day! Started talking to people met a friend, he gave me a nugget. Then I met THIS girl! and my life was spiraled downwards since then! You cheated on me? It was only one time! I was alone! He was there when you weren’t! I didn’t know how to get by! Please don’t get mad! We can get through this. No! I-I still love you! *tries not to burst out laughing* I WANT A DIVORCE! *laughs* I- you’re right… this isn’t working out. What do I do now? Go spend the night with your mother! I guess that’s fair! I’ll call you tomorrow, I hope we can sort this out amicably. Wow! That was the most fun I’ve had playing house in a while! You’re gonna make a splendid boyfriend! I want you to have lunch with me! -Jack’s laugh attack™- Oh yeah we were only playing house! Christ almighty… *school bell* Oh hey, boyfriend! Saved you a spot.. Go fetch something to eat and come sit with me. Yes dear… How ya doin’ there sonny? Want some delicious, nutritious slop for lunch? Yes dear… I mean YES! Damn i’ve been conditioned! I have slop. Eat slop. Oh good I was just thinkin’ about- Oh darn it! My stupid mother packed me something that’s not vegan! She knows I’m all vegan right now! God that woman is insufferable… Hey uh-sweetiepoo, schnuccumup? Um, would you be a darling and go get me something vegan? Somethin’ VEGAN? Yeah…you know umm like… I don’t know exactly what it means but I know it’s good! Just go ask around and see if you can find somethin’ vegan.. Monty! MAH BOI! I wanna buy somethin’… A salad! Lookin’ to cut some FAT from your diet? Don’t you fuckin’ judge me! I’ll do what I want! I’m slim, I know it and i’m happy about it! Okay??! What did you get me? Here’s a salad! UGH! A SALAD? Oh! Now that I think about it I guess that would be vegan, huh? Gross! Why do I have to do this MYSELF? Where’s Jeeves, our butler? He usually does everything for me! I dunno You’re being so good to me today! You’re probably the most well-trained boy I’ve ever met! I should use you for something at recess …hmm.. I have an idea! Wat? I’m really liking the way that Willy wears-Lily? Lily-Willy? Wears that gum…maybe we could put something else in there… What do you mean? Jerome was talking to me about how the janitor has all sorts of gross stuff in his closet.. I’m thinking we can find something and give it to Lily Doesn’t he keep that locked? Oh don’t worry about that…look what I have! YOU have the key? Yup! A girl has her ways. Lunch is almost over, so listen for the bell while you’re in there the janitor will come shortly after it rings so get out as soon as possible. Let’s…DO DIS! -kiss- Bye sweetie!! Which one’s the janitor’s closet? The dirty, moldy, skanky looking one? Unlock the door… Yes….. Oh sweet Jesus! Does he have a fuckin’ body in here? It’s a bucket, that’s catching the blood from that thing on the table. This would be a truly vile thing to dump on someone’s head. Oh god…. Am I gonna dump a bucket of blood on Lily’s head? God i’m fucking recreating Carrie all over again. Cindy a bitch! I’m gonna say that right now! I’ve never often called someone legitimately a bitch but Cindy a BITCH! *school bell* Well, what did you get? This bucket… F̴̰̒̑̽̓̐̚iͫ̀̂̄͡l̥͇̲l̗̟̇̈́͑̔ͅe̗͉̍̅́ͪ̀̚͞ḑ̖̩̮̾ͣ̑̿̍̉ ̟̙̣̮̓ͣ̌w̡̘̳͇̦i̽͑ͮ̇ͅt̍̉̍͏h̛̗̤̩͂ͨ͛̈ͯͧ ̳̺ͬͪ̃̐̊b̙͔̅̀ͥ̒̑͊l͙̈́̉̅͟oŏ̤͕̫̫͕̱͞d̫͇̰̜͑̈̿͝ͅ .̾ͮ͗̐ *̧̩̬̯͚̥͗̃͛̅̅̿͘C̸̣̖̖̯̫̝̣͊́̽̑̒̄͂r̷̖̺͍͉̬͉̠̘̎̔̇̆̈̽͗̅͟͢ę̷̣͎̣̣͓̔̏̽̾̃̊̒̀̽͟e̶̝̮͈̼̟͍̟̍͆̽̉́̅̓̔̍p̴̲̤̭̲̼̟̑̏̈́̎̋͘͜͠͡i̲̤͙͕̼͐̾͊̇̇̊̈́̏͟͞ͅl̴̫̰̯̩̿͗͂̈̑͑͜͞ͅͅy̴̤͖̖͔̳̻̞̱͚̔̅̄͋̔͝ ľ̩̝͇͙̣̤̠̟̭́̆̏́̒̈́̎̎͞a̖̖̯̖̱̺̓͊̎̂̒͝͞ͅȕ͙̙̘̦̗̦̻̞̎̒́̚g̷͍̳͕̲̖͇͆̀̎̎͋̚̚̕͝͡ͅh̵͔̺̦̙̑̿̇͂̏͡ͅs̨̜̰̳͈̈̉̂́͊*̷̡̨̧̫̜͖͇̯̹̟͒̆̔̋͌̎͘ Oh! My! God! It’s perfect! You’re the best! Come up here and I’ll call her over! IMMA GET IN POSITION!! Oh-oh boy! Here I go! Ready to pour some bucket of blood on an innocent girl’s head! Hey Lily! Lily! Sweetheart! Come over here! Wanna show you something… Can’t you just leave me alone Cindy? I’m so sick of you harassing me! I’m not gonna harass you! We can be friends, just come over here! Fine what is it… Oh no.. AWW NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! What did you just-oh… You and your awful boyfriend set me up again…i’m so done with this.. You’ve made me miserable for so long… Aw come on I think it’s an improvement. You’re just so mean! I can’t take it anymore! OH FUCK! OH NOOO! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wow that hole is deep…do you think she died? Nevermind I don’t care! You should get down from there! WE KILLED HER!! That was so great you’ve made me so happy today! I want you take this flower, it’s pretty like me. That way you’ll always have a piece of me with you! Oh dear has anyone seen Lily?!?! I don’t see her anywhere! Nugget saw where the girl went! Nugget knows. Shut up Nugget! You didn’t see anything! Nugget I swear to whatever god your messed up family believes in if you pushed Lily fell down that hole you dug I’m pushing you in after! Nugget will never give teacher satisfaction! Teacher will never take Nugget alive! OH GOD! He’s fuckin’ dead now, as well?! OH NOO!!! Wow that hole IS deep. I can’t even see the bottom..we’re gonna have to get the janitor down here with a ladder to get them out. OH MISTER JANITOOOOOOOOOOOR! I’M COMIN’ I’M COMIN’! What seems to be the problem miss Jigglytits? -laugh attack- He said what we were all thinking! *BOSS Music * AWW I’M SO FRICKIN’ ADORABLE AND CUTE! Look at me go! Look at my little swagger!